Nostalgic
by Aoi Miyavi
Summary: An Axel and Roxas story. Starts with Organization life then around Chp4 the Organization members get their hearts. Dun dun dun.
1. Prologue: Call and Return

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Disney; hence the romances can be played off as bromances. '-_-' (flails)**

_**Aoi**_: Well, hello there. I decided to re-write my favourite story ever. It's an Axel and Roxas love-mance. I, in a nutshell, took my old story "Call and Return" from my "plasticgenocide" account (got hacked by an ex, not trying to overdo the accounts) and am going to actually create a longer, more drawn out story. My girlfriend actually just bought the DS game with Roxas and I was oh-so inspired. So let's get to it. Hope you enjoy.

_**WARNING: It's an AMIchan works. Homosexuality, language, etc. No surprises.**_

_Prologue: Call and Return_

I flinched. He put his hand down and I opened one eye. His blue eyes stared longingly at the floor. He was full of innocence, hurt, pain, and want. I wanted o make him smile, make him happy. This current state made him nothing but a zombie.

"Roxas… if you walk around with want in your eyes someone will surely give it to you—with force." I teased rather softly, attempting to lighten the moment. I often made jokes like this. Everyone in the Organization always made comments under-the-radar about how cute Roxas was. He even knew it.

"I'm tired of _not_ being real. Have you even wanted to be real? Axel, my other self is going to be awakened anytime now and no one, no one will care when I leave… when I die." Roxas exclaimed, casting his fist aside, pointing towards the ground.

I watched as his blue orbs found their way up my boots, then my body, and soon arriving at my emerald, love-stricken gaze. He tried to read me. He was looking for answers in my eyes. I couldn't give any. There was no answer to find. I didn't know how to make him real so he could stay here, with me.

"I would…" I whispered, turning away from his stare. I couldn't look him in the eye when I had no answers for his questions. There was no solution for our predicament.

I also couldn't look him in the eye because he could read people. He was going to be able to read my emotions of love for him. The love so intense it actually burned me thousands of times. Fire was even my specialty.

He could not find out that I loved him. He couldn't. I wasn't ready.

"Why…!?" He exclaimed. I could tell he was filling with anger. Again. His fist clenched and his brows narrowed. "Why do you even care so much? Why am I so important to you?" By this point, he was _screaming_.

I stepped closer to him, my hands extended to his. "Roxas, I don't know how to say it." He pushed my hands away.

His eyes looked as if a wet glaze had come over them as he stepped back against a building wall. "Why… I don't want you to care. I don't want you to explain. I don't want you near me or here with me ever again." He covered his face with his hands. I watched as his body slowly slid downwards to sit on the ground. I sighed,

"Roxas, please." I stepped closer and kneeled down in front of him. My hands lifted to his, once again. "You don't mean that."

I heard a soft whimper as I pulled him closer to me. He tried to resist me but I was much stronger. He was so small; I could hold him in my arms twice over. I loved him so much.

He held on tightly to me with his pale fingers and I shivered inside at our closeness. This was the first hug I had ever given him. The contact was almost unbearable. I loved him so much that I couldn't stand it sometimes. Why did I love him so much? He was a whiney little kid with teamwork and personality issues. He was a complete idiot. The only thing we had in common was the incompleteness of being heartless.

"Axel."

That. That must have been the reason. The way he said my name; that and the way his eyes showed the deepest levels of his soul. These were only two of the many reasons for my devoted affection. _He _was the reason for it all.

"Yes?" I asked, caressing his back lightly.

"I'll miss you." He held onto me tighter than before, pulling himself closer to me. "I need you. You were my memory after I lost it. The only thought I knew was real." He nuzzled his head in my chest. "I love you and I don't want to ever leave you. I would give up being complete just to stay by your side like I am now. I wish I could stay with you forever but… I can't and that just hurts too much." This closeness was making my heart race. I couldn't breathe.

I completely froze. He loved me? He needed me? I pulled back slowly, looking down at him. He looked up at me helplessly. I wanted to fill his void. I wanted to be his heart, just so he could stay.

We stared at each other for a while. "I…" I leaned down, closer to him. "Love…" My lips brushed against his and I couldn't finish. I felt his bottom quiver against mine and I closed my eyes. When our lips met, I felt my whole body lung towards him subconsciously. He was pinned against the wall as he pulled me even closer and his legs slid in between mine.

I heard the scratching of my zipper and felt his cool fingers pull the large, black Organization jacket off of my shoulders. Underneath was a fitting black shirt and fitting tan pants. His fingers gripped tightly to my shoulders. My body pushed up against his, as my hips pressed downwards and forwards against his hips. I wasn't even thinking about my actions. It all happened and we both couldn't seem to stop.

At that moment he pushed me backwards rather quickly. I was able to catch my balance and he grabbed my hands. "I'm sorry, but, should we do this?" He asked.

I shook my head in confusion. "Do what?" I asked, completely oblivious.

"You don't even know?" He gave me a quizzical look. "This!" He point at his hips then mine. I stared for a moment before soon realizing. Ah, that. I grinned, feeling playful.

"Not here." I whispered, putting my free pointer finger in front of my own lips.

I slid off of the ground and stood in front of him. I picked up my coat and I pulled it back onto my back. I signaled for him to follow me. We walked quietly through the dark, empty streets of Twilight Town. Our mission was supposed to end hours ago.

We couldn't go back to the Castle. Everyone was in everyone else's business at the Castle. I knew that if we were caught we would be dead. I wanted to find us a place to be alone.

"Where should we go?" I asked, looking down at him. He was looking around for a place too.

"There." He extended his hand to a small, black building, almost invisible. It was almost like a little shack on the outskirts of Twilight Town. I'm sure it was over-looked on a daily basis just by looking at it. We approached the building and I took a closer look at it. No key description, really, just a plain, black building with a gray door and two windows on either side of the door.

Roxas stood behind me as I opened the little gray door. I looked around into the dark building. The moonlight was dim but I could still see around somewhat. There was a plethora of boxes and paper to the right in the corner and a large, round table in the middle of the room with a white cloth on top of it. Nothing else was in the room. It felt a bit like a home, yet… less lively and lived in.

"This is… nice." I turned to Roxas. He was kind of in an odd daze again. It was almost as if he was a different person. "Hey, Roxas, are you okay?"

He nodded slowly, stepping inside behind me and closing the door.

"Just tell me…" I interrupted. I wanted him to say it again.

He whispered. "What do you want me to say to you?"

"How you feel?" I replied, looking at him.

"Well…" He sighed, "I just can't explain." Roxas looked away from me. He really was under a lot of pressure.

"Let me know how I can change that! I don't want you to be stressed anymore. I want to see you smile again." I told him, never looking away from him.

"There's nothing you can do to make things different." Roxas never looked at me. He finally turned to me for a moment but looked away soon after. "I'm not going to be around long. What's going to come out of this?" He asked me with a serious tone.

I paused. I didn't know how to answer that. Even if I knew, even if I didn't want to admit it, he was going to be apart of his other self. I wanted him to stay.

"What's going to come out of lying about our feelings? If you love me then say so!" My voice raised to a higher tone.

"I don't know…" He cast his eyes downwards. Why was he so confused? He had just said, no less than fifteen minutes ago, that he loved me.

Maybe we should have postponed this? Postponed all of this tragedy. My stomach was in knots. I wanted to just die.

"So you lied?" I questioned. I could barely breathe. "I can't do this…" I choked, stepping backwards.

"But…" Roxas spoke.

I didn't want to listen.

"No words can describe how I feel about you. I feel like I'm not myself without you. You're all I've ever known." Roxas came closer to me. He reached for me. I reached back. He pulled me closer to him and then held onto my jacket, nuzzling my chest with his forehead. "_I love you_. I suppose those words fit."

"Why can't we be together; right now… until we _both_ disappear?" I asked him with a smile. I was trying to keep myself together; positive. I couldn't think about a life without Roxas. Even when he forgot his memory for a while, everything we had ever created together remained real to me. I could never forget.

From that moment, right there and now, I wanted to be with him. From when I woke up to when I went to sleep, I wanted to love Roxas and make him smile. It wasn't hopeless. It couldn't be a dream.

Roxas looked up at me with a blank expression. I could see the sadness. He asked, "Will you love the other me too?"

A giant lump caught in my throat when he said this. But I put on my poker face, for Roxas, and grinned. "Not as much as you," I said before I kissed him sweetly. "You won't go anywhere, neither will I. I'll be your heart. You can be mine." I kissed him again.

Roxas tiptoed closer to me and I felt him reach his arms around my shoulders. I tripped back onto the little table. He slid his hands down me and pulled off my jacket once again. _He_ was deepening the kiss and I was definitely not going to resist him. I felt a cold sensation on my stomach before I even realized it was Roxas' fingers.

I gasped into his touch.

I arched my back and moaned as he scratched his nails down my back and my sides. I was going insane. He held tightly to my hips, trying to pull me closer. I was trying to hold myself together, but, it was terribly difficult. "Roxas…" I gasped and gripped the sides of the table.

"Yes?" He grinned up deviously at me. He was actually grinning. As if something I said made him happy? As if something I said made him turn this way? This was the most contact I had ever gotten with anyone. I know it was the same for him. How was he so enlightened?

"I love you." I smiled, giving him a sweet kiss.

"I love you…" He gave me a sweet kiss.

Roxas then kissed my nose, cheeks, and forehead. He smiled. "I wish you could be my heart, Axel." He kissed my neck, "But I will always be yours, Axel..." A final, passionate kiss on my lips and he was gone. I touched the empty air that his tangible body had once occupied.

He was really, really gone.

I collapsed and covered my face in my hands, wishing I would disappear too…


	2. Chapter 1: Roxas

_Chapter One_

**Warning;; as always**

"Okay, Lexaeus, you gotta hear this one. I swear you will laugh." Axel nodded, grinning.

"What are you idiots doing?" Larxene asked, stepping into the blue, circular lounge.

"Axel and Demyx are trying to make Lexaeus laugh." Marluxia chuckled, seemingly enjoying himself.

I looked back at Axel and smiled. He glanced over and me and winked. "Larxene'll like this one too. Okay, so, how many guys does it take to open up just one bottle of beer?" He looked Lexaeus dead in the eye. He shrugged and Axel smiled, tossing a thumb to point at Larxene, "None! It should be open when she brings it to him!" Axel let out a good laugh, joined by Demyx and even Marluxia. I stifled back a laugh as I looked up to Larxene.

"You are such an idiot!" The tall blonde stormed out of the room and Lexaeus smiled slowly but surely. It was an adorable little crooked smile. I heard Axel tell Demyx he won the bet and Demyx growl in defeat. I stood slowly and stretched.

"That was exciting." Marluxia chuckled again before standing. "Nice work boys. I'll see you after missions." He walked off into the direction Larxene headed. I watched as he disappeared into the dark hallway.

"You're with me, traitor." Demyx gave one of Lexaeus' big arms a smack. "And you, my friend, have the night off." He smiled over at me. I nodded and Axel stood finally. "What are you two gonna do?"

"The usual," Axel grinned. Demyx frowned and rolled his eyes. Apparently everyone in the Organization suspected Axel having feelings for me. Larxene told me but she said Marluxia told her who was told by Luxord who was told by Demyx who was told by Axel. Anything, of course, from Demyx is most likely a lie. I was just getting a little bothered with the jokes. I didn't know the truth.

Before I conked back into reality, Demyx and Lexaeus were gone. "You're more of a zombie today, Roxas. Is everything ok?" I looked up at the tall fire-red head. His green eyes were trying to see my most depths. The darkest most secretive part of me, I didn't even see it, but, I believed Axel could. I loved his eyes the most.

"I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away." I smiled and giggled. I only laughed in front of Larxene and Roxas. They were the most important, even if Larxene pretended to hate me.

Axel smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "I'm glad you're okay." He laughed, "But, uh, I think you've been spending too much time with me." He pulled away, still looking into my eyes. There was a dead silence; a moment of just taking in each other's gaze. It was almost as if we were having a staring contest because neither of us faltered. Then finally, I felt it…

Soft lips touched mine. I closed my eyes and felt warm finger pads on my chin, jaw bone, then grasp the back of my neck. I reached, blindly, for his coat. I grabbed part of the area on his chest, holding the material in my hands like I was holding on for dear life. What was this… a kiss? So the rumors must have been true? And, here, I am, condoning it?

"Ahem." I heard a voice from behind Axel. I pushed away quickly to see Demyx, shaking his head. "You two better be careful because I am sure as hell not making up some weird excuse for you two!" He grabbed his sitar and left the room again.

Axel looked back at me. "Where were we?" He grinned. I blushed.

His hands were reaching for me again and I pulled away. "We were talking about my spending too much time with you and your jokes coming apart of my vocabulary." I smiled, nervously. I didn't want to make him mad but I saw his brows move into a slanted position close to the bridge of his nose.

"Whatever, Roxas, you know, I hope your fucking day is as radiant as your smile." He turned and headed in the opposite directions to the rooms. I sighed, was he really going to do this? Apparently so he was…

"Axel!" I followed after him. He never stopped or looked back. I just tried to keep pace and reach him. Once he was almost to his door, I felt a small breeze, a tight grip on my arm, and a jerking sensation in my shoulder. I took a moment to realize what happened. He tricked me into coming to his room. "They told you, Roxas, didn't they?"

"Told me what?" I stepped back in defense. This wasn't like him. His usual funny, charismatic persona was a darker tone now. I noticed his fist clench. I was nervous.

"That I like you, Roxas, don't play dumb! Now is not the time!" He stepped closer. I watched his chest. It moved up and down as he breathed. I tried to gather my thoughts before he got even angrier. "Isn't it obvious? How could I not!" He grabbed my shoulders. "You're the only one I seem to see anymore!"

I took a deep breath. My chest was moving faster now. I had to have a heart because it was hurting as he got in my face. I kept myself in his grip. I wouldn't fight him. Slowly but surely I had pressed forward and encircled my arms around his long, thin stomach.

I felt him sigh before he held me back. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Please don't be mad anymore." I pleaded, unsure of his expression.

He separated us then leaned down to me. Our lips touched. I gave in to the warmth and softness of his lips. The contact was an amazing feeling. Odd, but right. He deepened the kiss and held my body close to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he picked me up.

"Oh!" I let out as our kiss was broken. "Axel!" I exclaimed. He grinned and kissed me again.

"Don't be scared, I'm gonna make you fall for me." He grinned again.

I let out a little laugh.

He paused, pulling back. "What's so funny?" We were forehead to forehead now.

"I'm just glad you're making jokes again." I hugged him and kissed his forehead. "I was getting nervous."

"I don't think you know how hard it is to stay mad in your presence." He took a couple steps towards his bed. He sat me down on the edge and kneeled down in front of me, in between my legs. I let my hands fall to my lap. He took my cheeks in his hands and smiled. "You really are my heart."

"Your heart replacement, maybe," I tried to make a joke but he didn't laugh. I didn't think it was funny either.

"No, you are. I don't want a heart anymore. Because I figured something out," He replied, seriously.

"What's that?" I asked. He knew so much more than I could pretend to know. Ever since my memory loss Axel has taught me what I know. The others have verified things.

"When we get out hearts…. We won't have each other." Axel let his hands move to my knees. He stood and took a seat beside me. "We're be 'some bodies' but separately." He sighed.

"Oh…" I looked at my hands. This is all I have come to understand. I couldn't imagine. Life without the Organization? Demyx? Larxene? Axel? I couldn't imagine it, just couldn't.

"So I'd rather have you then a heart." I felt him bump my arm. I smiled. Me too; I liked this life for the most part. True, I wanted answers, but, I didn't want to start over again… alone.

"If we do get hearts… will you forget me?" Did I really just ask that out loud? I felt my face grow warmer.

"Never…" he said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

After a bit of silence, I heard him cheer up: "What's brown, white, and black all over?"

I blinked, thought for a moment, and then asked, "What?"

"Demyx," He grinned. I laughed. He always made stupid jokes on that poor guy.

"Demyx walked into a bar…" I tried to make another joke. This one could be funny? It was questionable.

Axel paused, and then laughed. "Oh!" He smiled, "Nice attempt."

"Teach me!" I nudged him. "I'm horrible at it…"

"Okay, there's a little trick." He covered my face. "Close your eyes." He pushed me back on the bed. "Lay down." I knew he was grinning. I felt him leaning over me now. My invisible heart began to race. His lips were on my neck. "Breathe." He opened his mouth and exhaled on the vulnerable skin. I shivered.

"Axel…" He did it again and I tried to reach for him.

"Shh… don't talk, just lay there." He caught my hand and forced it back on the bed.

"Next…" He kissed my neck once… twice… three times. "Relax, Roxas, I can feel you trembling."

"I can't with you doing that!" He started again, covering my mouth. The more he kept working his mouth on my skin the weirder I felt. I finally got to reach for his hair. I held onto him tightly.


	3. Chapter 2: Axel

_Chapter Two_

**Warning;; classic**

"So what did you guys do?" Demyx sat beside Roxas on the couch and put his arm around him.

"Took a nap," Roxas replied flatly. I rolled my eyes and leaned back, crossing my arms.

"Hey mow, no one believes that." Demyx covered Roxas' ears, asking, "What did you _really_ do?" I leaned forward to pull his hands off of Roxas. I knew he didn't want to be touched at the moment by his expression.

"We seriously took a nap, Demyx!" He replied flatly. "I never lie." I rolled my eyes and leaned back, crossing my arms. This conversation was all about repetition, apparently. But, after all, we really did just take a nap. After I had fought Roxas' jacket off of him, I decided it was smart to get up and take off mine since I'm obnoxiously tall. Sadly, it was a mistake because when I came back to the bed, I discovered Roxas was asleep. It sucked. Simple as that.

Roxas stood randomly and straightened his hair. "I'm going back to bed." I slouched even farther into my chair.

"Why? I just got home!" Demyx reached for his arm but he pulled away. Something had to be on his mind.

"I've had a rough day." He walked off. Rough day? I sighed. He acted like he wanted it… I didn't know I made him mad. After he was completely gone from the room Demyx looked at me. I just shrugged.

"And nothing really happened?" He asked.

"He fell asleep." I covered my face. "It completely sucked." I started laughing.

"Damn." I sighed again. This was ridiculous. He could have just said no but he just egged me on with his cute mannerisms.

"I'm sorry, Axel." He stood. "I guess I should probably go to bed too. "Xemnas is making us wake up super early for an important meeting."

I sat up immediately. "What?" I looked up at him.

"Yeah, something about a very important break in our mission. Something about our hearts? I don't know, you know how many meetings we have had about this kind of thing. They never are true. False alarms and all…" He trailed off. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya…" I leaned back again and tried to relax. We might get our hearts? Again? Demyx was right… this would be the seventh meeting we have had where we found other means of obtaining hearts instead of Kingdom Hearts. None of them have obviously worked but it made me nervous all the same. Like I said yesterday, I knew we would be separated. I didn't know if I was ready for that.

X

"It's a feeling like fireworks that explodes inside my chest. You're kiss creates the spark that ignites my very best. There's a rumor and I know you know it's true; that you've got my heart locked in your room and this world's not half as bright when there's a me without a you." I sung playfully with Demyx on the couch. He laughed and messed me up for the chorus. I hit him.

"Demyx, Axel, stop fooling around," Xigbar scolded as he walked into the room. "You act like new born idiots."

"We've always been idiots, Xiggers." I laughed.

"Well it's too early, Axel." Marluxia whined as he came up behind me, letting his fingers rub the back of my head. I quieted immediately and smiled. He knew how to shut me up for sure. I loved my head rubbed.

"Hey, where's Roxas?" Larxene asked as her and Xaldin entered the room.

"As a matter of fact, Lexaueus, Roxas, and Vexen are missing." Xaldin noted as Zexion walked into the room. I looked around. "Okay, so, from the beginning we had: Xigbar, Xaldin, Zexion, Saïx, me, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene." He stated the obvious. "I have a feeling Roxas might not have known about the meeting." Xaldin added after thinking for a moment.

I stood. Marluxia's had fell and I heard him growl. "I'll go get him."

"The others might already be in the room?" Demyx suggested an idea. Everyone shrugged. "Well I'll wait for Roxas and Axel. You guys can go ahead and go in."

"No it's okay, I don't want Roxas to get in trouble and you will if you wait." I told him. "Just go in, I'll be quick."

Xaldin nodded, "Alright, let's get this over with."

I headed to Roxas' room. The hallways were darker than when I had left them. A couple lights were flickering ahead and I felt an uneasy sensation come over me. This was really strange. Never had anyone been late, especially Lexaueus and Vexen… it was too strange.

I arrived at Roxas' room and I opened the door slowly. "Roxas?" I looked around. He was gone. Maybe I had just missed him, or he went to the room early for once. I looked around his room, moving his covers just to be sure he wasn't hiding. This was too strange. I turned to leave when I heard a door open at the other end of the hall. Out stepped a man, a man I had barely recognized. I squinted, "Lexaueus?"

"Can't… find… Roxas…" I stepped closer. "Vexen is gone."

"Gone?" I asked.

"He got a heart." I froze. "Xemnas found our hearts. He stole them back. Him and Vexen stole them back."

"And Roxas… is gone!?"

"Can't find him…"

I felt my whole body go numb. Roxas disappeared. Did he get his heart too? Or did he really get taken so his other person could wake up? I took off running.

"Lexaueus go meet the others before they try and leave!" I didn't know where I was going but I had to go find Roxas. I needed to go to Twilight Town. Maybe he was there.

I needed to see him. He couldn't really be gone.


	4. Chapter 3: Roxas

_Chapter Three_

**Warning;; you know**

I felt strange. Like I had been asleep for years. Like this was the first time I opened my eyes. I was surrounded by white. It was everywhere imaginable. I looked around. There was no to call. I remembered nothing.

I closed my eyes once more. I prayed I would wake up from this nightmare and remember everything again. I opened my eyes, slowly. That's when I saw him. Brown hair, blue eyes, gray shirt, blue shorts. He smiled,

"Hello." He voice was kind. I felt like I knew him. Like I'd known him forever.

"Hello…" I whispered, stepping back. I was too close. This was too weird.

"You can rest now." His smile never once faltered, even for a second. I just stared. Rest? What do I need rest from? "I'm the one with our heart," He said. "You can rest now. I'll take over."

"But!" I yelled. He… he had _our_ heart? My heart!? But… "you're not me."

"In a way, we are connected." He replied.

"No… you…" I stepped closer. "Give me my half then, at least, if it's ours. I want my heart!" I yelled.

"Oh Roxas, you can't share a heart like that. Besides, what do you need it for? You don't remember your past life do you?" He replied, crossing his arms.

"I need it. I want to be real. It might bring my memory back…" I said, softer than my previous tone.

"Let me think about it." He smiled. The once white room we were in faded to black. He slowly slipped from view.

"Hey!" I reached forward to grab him but he was already gone. I looked around, feeling in the dark. I fell on my knees and just sat there on the ground. "Hey!" I tried again. I covered my face.

I wanted my heart. I wanted to remember. I wanted to be real. Please. Please let me have a heart.

X

"Roxas," I heard a soft voice call to me in my sleep. I kept my eyes closed and imagined it was someone. Someone I couldn't picture their face but I felt their warmth. I didn't know the name but I felt a hole in my heart where he lived. "Come on, Roxas."


	5. Chapter 4: Axel

_Chapter Four_

**Warning;; your mom might not approve**

Axel. That's _my_ name. My identity. I decided this a long time ago. I felt like I was just a figment of my own imagination. I was staring at myself in the mirror. I remembered everything. The Organization. Roxas. Myself. Heartless. Everything.

How did I manage to remember? Did the others remember too? Lexaueus remembered. He was with me. Or rather, Elaeus was with me. I was glad I wasn't alone. But I wanted to know where everyone else was. Especially Roxas. He was probably scared.

I wiped the water droplets off of my forehead. My hair was more fine now and a more maroon red. My eyes were olive green. I pulled my hair into a long ponytail as Elaeus walked in the room.

"Are you ok?" He asked, looking concerned. "I haven't heard you humming like back at home." His voice was calm. He was like an older brother. Always caring and watching. He noticed everything.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind." I replied. I sighed, "I need Roxas though, I'm not gonna lie."

He sighed and nodded. He knew there was nothing he could say so he left the room. He was sad too I know. Rumor had it he was in love with Larxene. He sighed again from the hallway. I looked in the mirror again. We were both missing our real hearts.

X

I got up the courage to walk outside for the time. We had been in this town a whole week and I always made Elaeus go out. I knew some of the locals because he was documenting the area for me. I needed my own groceries though and sunlight and ice cream.

I squinted in the sunlight and put on some sunglass I borrowed from Elaeus. I sighed and looked around. The streets of this town always had some people. It was never deserted. Some waved and some pretended I didn't exist. I walked to the local store. As I walked I looked around at all the individual people. I kept looking for a familiar face. I was looking for his face. This was hard… really hard.

I stepped into the store and walked to the back to look for the ice cream. I found the coolers and opened one up to pull out a box of sea salt ice cream. When I shut the door, there was a man in my face. "Hello!" He smiled. "Finally out and about I see?" He wasn't smiling now that I looked at him. He was grinning.

"Do I know you?" I asked, looking him up and down. He looked a little familiar. He had blue eyes and sandy brown hair. He was skinny and dressed in a blue shirt and black pants. He was good looking but I definitely didn't know him. At all.

"I'm D. I've seen you from your balcony a coupla times when I'd pass by for work. I've been waiting to run into you." He pulled out a little card from his back pocket. "I wanted to meet you." I took the card. "Love at first sight I think," he winked.

I froze. I looked down at the card. I slowly looked back up to him. "What did you-"

"You heard me. So call me if you want a free dinner." He winked again then leaned in and kissed my cheek. "See you."

I stood there for a minute, trying to process what had just happened. I should have never walked outside. I looked at my ice cream box and sighed:

I miss you, Roxas.


	6. Chapter 5: Roxas

_Chapter Five_

**Warning;; getting mo' lovey dovey**

I felt a pressure on my back. Warm limbs encircled and pulled me closer to a warm body. I felt soft lips brush my neck as a head nuzzled into me. I heard a sigh and then I smiled, saying, "I have looked everywhere for you." I opened my eyes and turned my head to look into his… blue eyes?

"I said I was out to work, silly Roxas." He pulled me closer. I tried to wiggle free. This wasn't who I thought it was. This wasn't Axel. This was D. I sighed. I had forgotten. It had been a month since I saw Axel last. It had only been two days since I remembered his name.

"Oh… right…" I trailed off, closing my eyes again. I was pathetic; crawling into bed with some stranger for a month because I was lonely. Because I had pent up emotions I never got to give to him. How could Axel ever forgive me?

"So I'm in the mood for some Roxas, cake and ice cream. D'ya think you could fix one of those things?" He closed his mouth a bit to kiss my neck. He licked the over-sensitive skin and I shivered.

"I'm… I'm not…" I tried to object but he was working his mouth on my neck, making me lose focus. "Sick!" I finally let out. "I'm not feeling well." He stopped, pushing me to lie on my back.

"Oh, I'm sorry, can I make you something?" He looked very worried. It wasn't like he was a bad person. He was kind. He was good looking. He just wasn't Axel. I shook my head, "Okay, I'll go make us some dinner for later then." He kissed me. "Call me if you need me." He stood then left the room.

I rolled on my side and covered my head with the covers. I bundled up and tried to imagine it was Axel. I never felt like I craved his touch as much as I did after we were separated. I dreamt about him every night and often found myself pretending D was him. I had never let Axel do what D does even though he tried a couple times. I regretted that the most. He probably thought I didn't love him. That and not doing as I promised: traveling. I abandoned my dream when I lost him. I didn't want to do anything but call to him and pray he heard me.

It was pitiful. I leaned up, face growing colder as it hit the foreign air. I slowly got to my feet. Axel wasn't coming back. I walked to the desk to look at myself in the mirror. I fixed my strawberry blonde hair and took a deep breath. Forget it. I used to it. I would be okay.

"D!" I called, leaving the room. He had loud music playing in the other room. I peeked into the kitchen where he was cooking pasta in sweats with no shirt on. I watched as he danced to the music slightly. His muscles twitched as a breeze slipped through the window.

I slowly snuck up behind him and gently wrapped my arms around his waist. My head rested in between his shoulder blades. I nuzzled into his soft, tan skin. "I feel better." I mumbled.

I heard him put the wooden spoon on the counter. He grabbed my arms so he could turn around and face me. "Good," He kissed me. "I missed you all day." He said, picking me up and sitting me on the counter.

I let my hands find the tight muscles of his chest as we kissed. He got more persistent and I got more desperate. He was good at what he did and he taught me all I know. In a way it was like he programmed me. I was going to smother him with what I would give Axel. Get it all out tonight and then let it go. Because I knew I never would.

Ever.


End file.
